She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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