its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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