I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
