your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
