Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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