Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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