I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
