I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
