quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
