New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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