i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
