I hope mine doesn't look like that
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
