Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
