I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
