She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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