I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
