id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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