I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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