I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
last night I used snow as a chaser
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
