I'm going to jail i love you
wakey wakey hands off snakey
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
