And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
