you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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