dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
