apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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