When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
