is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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