don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
