i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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