I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
