But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
