I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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