you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Little spoons don't ask big questions
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
