hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
