I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
