Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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