Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
