i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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