you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
