I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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