You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
