I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
