I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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