Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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