It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
