I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
