So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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