it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
