My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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