Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I love having hate sex.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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