I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
