I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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