In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
