Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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