I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
