there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
