If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
