Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
