She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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