I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
