The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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