i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
