WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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