I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
