i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
