is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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