sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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